Game night with the cullens
by rachelcullen1037
Summary: Carlisle and esme go hunting so what does alice do? Have a party! bella embarks on a journey with edward and the rest of the gang. Includes spin the bottle truth or dare twister etc.
1. Vampire marshmallows

**disclaimer: Sadly stepahnie meyer owns all of these glorius characters**

**An: This is my first attempt at humor, please tell if its very very sucky or made you fall on your ass laughing. This is one of the first thing i ever wrote but never had the courage to post it.**

**Post new-moon**

bpov

I had just finished washing the dishes after dinner when the doorbell rang. I knew it was Edward because it was precisely seven o'clock. The time Charlie let my savior into the house.

Ever since my little trip to Italy, I had been grounded. Charlie would've taken Edward away too, but he remembered what it was like when Edward left me. I flinched at the memory while drying my hands. I looked down at the long scar running down my right arm left by my disastrous birthday. I had forgiven Jasper, it wasn't his fault he was the newest vegetarian and it was harder for him to control his bloodlust.

I jumped at the sound of the doorbell as it rang again. I had been lost in my thoughts.

I ran to the door and flung it open, to reveal my gorgeous sparkly boyfriend, Edward.

"Hello love," He whispered softly, almost to soft for my dull human ears, flashing me a dazzling crooked smile.

I wrapped my arms around his flawless pale neck and pressed my lips to his full ones, of course as usual before I could get carried away he pulled back.

"Lets go up to your room," He suggested. I obliged and we sat down on my bed.

The rest of the two hours he was here, until he came back later that night, we lay on the bed and talked, and, uh, kissed too.

He came back that night after I had taken my shower with my strawberry shampoo he had complimented once.

"Mmm…. Strawberries and freesias my favorite," he moaned at the smell. I situated myself so I was lying on top of him. I pressed my lips to his hard, but ever so soft lips, with as much force as I could muster to prolong the moment. He tried to pry me off of him gently but I wouldn't take no for an answer, I tightened my grip on his neck. If he were human, he would have been choking from my vice grip, but he was a stupid Volvo owning vampire and much stronger than I, so he unhooked my arms and placed them on either side of him on the bed.

I think he saw the disappointment in my eyes, behind the stoic mask I was wearing trying to hide the pain from the rejection, so he promised "No Bella, not until your less fragile,"

"Humph!" I pouted

"Aww show me that smile, please?" he made a funny face, crossing his eyes and sticking his tongue out, like I was an upset 5 year old that made me crack a smile.

"There it is! Now sleep love you've got a big day tomorrow," and he started to him my lullaby. And I quickly fell into unconsciousness.

My eyes flew open when I heard screaming. It turned out when I woke up it stopped. I was the one screaming.

I couldn't believe my surroundings. I thought the dream or should I say nightmare was real, it was so vivid. Usually, I knew I was dreaming, so for me being unaware this time was rare and weird. I turned to see if my angel was in the rocking chair, he was.

I wish I could hang on to Edward forever, which I could if he changed me, but no I have to get up. I inched closer to him yearning to crash my lips to his. He breathed out and his intoxicating breath fanning out in my face. I licked my lips, savoring the rich taste. I pressed my lips to his in a good morning kiss and as last night, he pulled away, but this time, I didn't try to hang on.

"Are you alright, love?" Edward asked concerned

"I'm fine, I don't even remember the dream" I lied, surprised when he believed, and he said I couldn't act!

In the dream Emmett had gotten marshmallows from the grocery store and bitten them. The newborn marshmallow vampires were clearly hungry so they ran up to where Edward and I were playing hula-hoop. We were seeing who could hula-hoop the most in 5 minutes. I was winning, until the marshmallows ate my hula-hoop! I was mad so I ate one, but I spit it out because it was gross.

Edward's phone rang playing 'I'm a Barbie girl' if vampire could blush, Edward would be redder than me when Emmett makes sex jokes or there lack of. He answered and I immediately recognized the chirpy voice on the line. He spoke in vampire speed, then shut the phone.

"Uh, yah I can explain the ring tone," he said awkwardly .

"Oh yah that's fine I mean Jacob has 'material girl; as his" I explained

"Oh cool where can I get it??" He started jumping up and down clapping his hands saying something about 'that song is fabulous!"  
"…" I sighed, "I guess all mythological men are married or gay"

Edward was over his spaz attack from earlier "Get dressed, Alice wants you to spend some time with the you, she says it's a surprise,"

I groaned. I was Alice's oversized Barbie doll. I sat there bored and in pain usually while she prodded, plucked, painted, made over, painted, and waxed every part of my body. I stood up and stretched and looked at the clock; 9:00 am. It was going to be a long day

R&R


	2. Cooties!

**Disclaimer:You know the drill. blah blah blah sob sob sob. long story short twilight is my bible and stephanie is god all hail stephanie for she wrote these magnifecent books that we are addicted to. seriosly twilight is my herion. my mom says i need therapy**

**An: sup future minions -clears throat- o i mean hi wahts up?! I was bored 2day and was trying to aviod doing my research paper that is do friday the 13th unlucky right? so i decided to posty post this. I MIGHT post one chapter over spring break. Now i am against those people who write only for reviews I write because i love it and my friends who read my stuff say its brilliant. But reviews do help because they motivate me and make me think i have tons of fans -i squeled today when i foundout i had 4good reviews and 1 flame- also its constuctive critisism that helps me become a better writer and help persuemy dream of becoming an author. So ya i am going on a plane tripover spring break. i COULD right some chapters then or i could read gone with the wind again.. Hmmm who knows what i'll do. MY FATE IS IN YOUR HANDS!**

Chapter 2:

Bpov (dont worry it will change)

When we got to the house Edward opened the door for me. We walked hand-in-hand inside the Cullen's home that was now painted pink.

"Uh…. Edward?" I exclaimed sheepishly

"Ya bitch?" He said in his 'gangsta' voice. Sometimes he even puts on jewelry and baggy pants and with the hats to the side signing 'I'm so hood'.

"Why is your house pink?" I stumbled on a ladybug passing by and swiftly picked myself up again

"Because it looks fantabulous! That's why." He was grinning like a freaking idiot. I swear that boy has schizophrenia. He has gangsta, gay man, emo, and love-dovey

"Uh…. Wow ok," There was an awkward silence between us until Mr. Teddy Bear walked outside tripping on the same ladybug I had. Poor ladybug. He scooped me up into a hug whilst Edward was trying but failing to cut his wrist with a knife screaming, "Cut the pain away!" That boy has issues, but I love him. Not because I want to though, only because a god named Stephanie Meyer the puppet master of my life told me too.

We all sat in a crooked circle because Alice claimed perfect circles are 'so out'. I sat next to her and Edward still holding the knife. Ladybug was sitting next to Alice. Apparently they had formed a alliance because of their shortness and always getting stepped on. Also there's the fact that the ladybug ,I think I'll name her Gina, has been stepped on numerous times and not once died so they are both immortal.

"Okay peeps, Our first game of the night is –drum roll please-…………..(an: some random guy starts playing the bongos) SPIN THE BOTTLE!!!" Ugh I knew Alice was devising a plan when she said that for she had an evil look on her face.

"Wait! We don't have a bottle!" I said in mock-horror trying to get out of it.

"Nonsense! I got one today," She held up a diamond and sparkly wine-shaped bottle with 'spin the bottle Cullen style' in cursive written on it. Alice will be Alice…

"Whose first?" The stupid pixie said. None raised their hands but Mr. Teddy Bear himself, Emmett. "Oo. Oo me!!" he was bouncing in his seat as he drawled out the e in me. Alice tossed him the bottle and he spun it at vampire speed.

-20 minutes later-

The bottle gradually slowed down. 20 FRICKEN MINUTES LATER, it landed on (Gina does the bongos)…………………………………………………..me. SHIT!!

Rosalie got a look of fury on her face. Great! Now we will be the best of friends! Emmett looked like he was about to crap his pants. Whether he was afraid of Edward or Rosalie I'll never know. He sat down beside me closed his eyes and puckered his big-ass monkey lips. I quickly pecked mine with his. He tasted just like chicken. I hate chicken though it taste like Charlie's farts, you don't want to know how I know that. Emmett's eyes shot open and he wiped his mouth so fast I almost didn't see it then started screaming.

"COOTIES. OMC SHE GOT GIRL COOTIES! HOW THE HELL DO YOU KISS HER EDWINA! AWW IM GONNA DIE IN 7 DAYS! CRAP! I CANT DIE. NOW I WILLL LIVE FOREVER IN COOTIEVILLE." I don't think I've ever seen a vampire crawl into the fetal position but now I have. All I can say is LOL. About five minutes later he had almost completely composed himself. He was now sitting erect. Only once in a while he would twitch or mutter under his breath something about cooties.

I picked up the bottle and spun it. With my –not-so-superman strength, it only went around for about 5 seconds but then I was doomed to my inevitable death because it landed on…………………………….

**Review please with an edward on top!**


	3. Poor jazzypoo

**Disclaimer: All hail stephanie meyer not me :(**

**An: hey sorry i havent been on my internet broke. I use wireless up in my bedroom and that went stupidso i am now using connectedone downstairs. Also i went to maryland for like 5 days. I know making exuses is really bad and this chapter is a midget so sorry but i have been on a plkane the last like ALL FRIGGEN DAY so ya im exauhuseted. My forever lunar story i reallly need to work on too i havent worked on it in like a month so ya those readers can be happy. Ya'll (sorry i live in the south) really need to check out that story not funny but good. **

**Summery: Sorry -makes exuses for not updating- Read forever lunar! Love you guys! **

**Ps:! this chapter is a filler not a huge one! its important later on in the story though**

Chapter 3:

_Recap:_ _I picked up the bottle and spun it. With my –not-so-superman strength, it only went around for about 5 seconds but then I was doomed to my inevitable death because it landed on…………………………….._

Jasper. He was going to eat me! His eyes were a charcoal black and Alice gave Jasper and I a sympathetic look. Psh like I would forgive her! She made me kiss both of my brothers. How gross! That's like kissing Jacob! God if only it was Edward I could kiss. I kiss him but I don't KISS him. He is such a friggen prude. He just needs to lay me already come on! Were 19! Man up!

"Uh Bella, love, Why are talking about laying men up?" Said Mr. Prude. I blushed a horrible shade of orange. You see one time Emmett thought it would be funny to inject orange dye into my bloodstream so now I blush orange. It sucks Edwards non-existent balls.

"Bella, Bellllllaaaaaa over hear, yah anyway now you're talking about orange balls. You need help. Wait! I know the guys great grandson who did my shock treatments!" Alice was snapping her fingers in my face trying to get me to stop rambling in my mind, which I'm doing right now. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE this is fun. To bad Edward cant hear! Edward is sexy yes he is!

Oh yeah back to the task at hand. Still thinking about Edward I skipped over to jasper and puckered up. He held his breath and pecked me then again and again and again. I soon started to see a bulge in his pantaloons. Hey that's pants in Spanish! Oo lala.

Anyway, after that I broke the kiss.

"Ya, I can explain. I was thinking of Alice." He rushed. Quickly and embarrassed he spun the bottle till it landed on Rosalie. They quickly pecked then she spun.

It span for a couple of minutes till it landed on me. Fuck! I could see how she either wanted to die or for me to die right now. I would be okay with dying right now. My cheeks were a bright orange till she sat next to me and whispered in my ear

"If this lasts more than ten seconds your life will be over," The threat had so much venom in her voice I could only nod in fear.

She closed her eyes and I followed. We were inches apart when she closed the distance. It ended before I could even blink. Thank Carlisle. I heard the door slam then someone scream. "Fuck you all! I just fucking kissed a human eww!" That someone was defiantly Rosalie.

I squeezed my eyes shut trying to fight the nausea but couldn't hold it. As I was rushing to the rarely used bathroom here I heard Edward say to Emmett.

"Oh My God, That was HOT!" Sounding clearly aroused.

"Totally," Emmett agreed while jasper was in a corner screaming "Cut the pain away," Trying to slit his wrist, oh so that's were Edward got it. Oh well he's still smexy.

After the puke session I walked back into the room. Rosalie was back and seeking revenge on a certain pixie that we all love so dearly. I sat on Edwards lap and there was something harder than usual between his thighs. Sweet! Well, Alice came into the room and exclaimed happily,

"Our next game is…………………."

**R&R**

**Book i recomend:**

**The blue bloods series**

**Song related to twilight:**

**Lullaby by the spill canvas**


	4. SEducing mike

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight. but i do own shwingshwong! **

**An: Im looking for a beta! If your good at writing and grammar send me a msg. I really suck at spelling and grammer and typoes. Its just because i type so fast. Anyway alot of people, well for my standards, were begging me for the next chapter so here it is! i might not upsate for a work or so because i am going back to school tommorrow. Oh and i have bad news. i am so busy with school and friends and my boyfriend and i have to read this book for school so amnesia is on hatius. Im sorry!**

_Recap:_

_She closed her eyes and I followed. We were inches apart when she closed the distance. It ended before I could even blink. Thank Carlisle. I heard the door slam then someone scream. "Fuck you all! I just fucking kissed a human eww!" That someone was defiantly Rosalie._

_I squeezed my eyes shut trying to fight the nausea but couldn't hold it. As I was rushing to the rarely used bathroom here I heard Edward say to Emmett._

_"Oh My God, That was HOT!" Sounding clearly aroused._

_"Totally," Emmett agreed while jasper was in a corner screaming "Cut the pain away," Trying to slit his wrist, oh so that's were Edward got it. Oh well he's still smexy._

_After the puke session I walked back into the room. Rosalie was back and seeking revenge on a certain pixie that we all love so dearly. I sat on Edwards lap and there was something harder than usual between his thighs. Sweet! Well, Alice came into the room and exclaimed happily,_

_"Our next game is…………………."_

Chapter 4:

Truth or dare,"

What the hell. I had past experience with truth or dare. Memories I would not like to recall. I was 12 and at a birthday party. We were sitting and a circle when a girl asked me truth or dare. To seem not like a wuss, I had chosen dare. She dared me to eat dirt. I had told Edward this story and right now he a sympathetic look on his face. Also I could see the anger boiling in his eyes.

"Absolutely not, Alice. Bella could hurt herself!" He commanded but she didn't listen

"Okay so who wants to go first?" The evil pixie said. The least likely person raised their hand, Rosalie.

"Bella," She sneered "Truth or dare,"

This sucked, it truly did. If I said truth, she would make me admit something embarrassing. If, I chose dare,……………….I don't even want to know. But I didn't want to be a wimp so I puffed my chest out, took a deep breath, looked at Edward, who was ogling my chest, and responded with false confidence "Dare,"

At that, two things happened, Rosalie got a scary glint in her eye, and Alice's eyes glazed over. She came back to reality a few minutes later, and broke into a fit of laughter. That cant be good.

"I dare you to go to that vile Newton kids house, ring the doorbell, when he answers, try to seduce him," Rosalie spat, I thought she was done, but clearly was not, "Don't have sex with him though, just when you get him, Run out screaming Edward was better" My cheeks flushed at that point. Seduce Mike? Can you say eww? I knew at that point in time that Rosalie really did hate me.

I sighed then said remorsefully "Fine!" and stomped of to the Volvo. The rest of the stupid vampire children came out about a millisecond later than me at vampire speed. We couldn't fit every one inside so Edward sat me on his lap, and the other couples followed suit.

A few minutes later we arrived at mikes, due to the fact that Edward was driving. _I can do this; I can do this_ I kept chanting in my head, sounding that the little engine that could, or Emmett trying to have sex with Rosalie. Jumping out of the car, I ran to the door.

I knew I could do it, easily. Mike was a freaking stalker. The other day I had threw away the core of an apple I had eaten, only to find him digging it out of the trash then licking it!

In a flash Alice and Rosalie were in front of me, fixing my makeup, tweaking my hair, unbuttoning a few of my buttons on my top. They undid 3. I have 5 buttons on my top. You could now clearly see my bra and TONS of cleavage. I looked at Edward with 'I'm sorry' look, but he was too far off in his own little fantasy staring at my chest, or more specifically, the more feminine part of it.

I rang the doorbell and waited. Appearing at the door was JESSICA, wearing only a blanket wrapped around her and a scowl on her face. I mentally cursed about this. Only me… Mike came down a minute later in boxers and a idiotic grin on his face.

"Bella? Hey! It's nice to see you, what do you need," He asked "Oh um I see you tomorrow Jessica," He said practically shoving her out the door naked. I stepped inside and her immediately noticed my lack of clad. His eyes started to show lust and desire and again for the second time today, I made a mans man part rise. I call it a shwingshwong.

Wrapping my arms around him I seductively whispered, "Hey mike, wanna go to your bedroom?" From the speed he was running up the stairs, he could almost be a vampire. I cautiously walked up the stairs, trying not to fall. I made up safely and saw him sprawled out on his bed, not nearly looking as good as Edward. I crawled up next to, or onto him and kissed him. I had to bite back the puke in my mouth. I opened my eyes during the kiss, to see a video camera from the window. They were recording this! Ugh! His big wide flat tongue licked my bottom lip, begging for entrance. He rolled over so he was hovering over me and quickly straddled me. Wait! Wasn't the GIRL supposed to do that? Not the guy?

He made it to second base quickly. Passing that, He took off his boxers to reveal his shwingshwong. It was tiny! And bald! And he had no balls. That was it I couldn't hold it in anymore. I threw him off of me, cracking up. After about ten minutes of laughing, I screamed while running to the car "Edward's is bigger!"

The Volvo was sitting there waiting for me and shaking. Hearing the cackles inside, I assumed it was laughter. I threw open the door and saw four vampire on near edge of hysteria and one sweltering vampire.

"How dare he touch you wear I haven't!" he vented

To makeup for it, I picked up his hand and rested it on my chest that made all his anger go away and turn into lust. He grabbed me by the hips and pulled me on to his lap, showering me in kisses. "I.. am…. So… sorry" He said in-between kisses on my neck. I gave him a chaste kiss on the lips but he deepened it, breathing his heady scent into my mouth. Somehow five amazing minutes later, he composed himself before we ended up where I wanted to be. We however did end up with his top off.

When my head was cleared up, I heard throat clearings and gagging coming from behind us. I whipped around and gave them a glare.

"Its not our fault we don't want to see our brother and sister make out," Emmett defend

"Fine!" I said, crossing my arms and pouting. At least I knew who my victim would be.

We got back to the house minutes later and sat back into our circle. I bit my lip, trying to look innocent. I spotted my victim and tried to hold back my smile.

"Emmett, truth or dare?"

**Ohhh cliffy! What will happen? Well you all probably think dare but i dont know maybe! Oh and peoples, i have writers block! I know this isnt that funny but oh well i get funnier later.**

Book i recomend:

Artemis fowl

Song:

The general by dispatch


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